so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize