I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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