my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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