so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
