I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
