38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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