i just had sex bonerless
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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