These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize