I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
