she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
