ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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