We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
