i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
