how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
