Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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