their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
