Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have aggressive nipples.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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