Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
