hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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