why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
