thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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