he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
