fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Are we in a gay sports bar?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
