Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
