There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
