For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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