Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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