dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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