and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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