Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
