Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
