I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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