I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
