I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
