im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
