And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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