I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
