what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
