I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
