If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
