I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
