Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
