you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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