shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
