just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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