There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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