....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
