I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You left your phone here
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