you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
