my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
