There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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