Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
