Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
