If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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