Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize