Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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