Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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