This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
