wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
