I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
