I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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